Goodbye
by PolkadotSunstar
Summary: Chris is in love with Gordie, always has been. He takes a chance, and spills his heart out. Not everything works out the way you want it to.


**Disclaimer:** I own not a thing in relation to Stand By Me.

**Warnings:** Angst, hints of boylove, the usual.

**Rating:** T

* * *

He didn't know when it was that he fell in love, he only knows that he did. He just remembers one day, when he was sitting with his best friend in their tree-house, smoking cigarettes, and playing cards, he felt a flutter in his heart when he gazed at the shy, lanky boy and he felt like he never wanted to leave the moment.

It wasn't until three years later that he accepted that flutter in his heart as love, and it was another two years before he ever did anything about it.

* * *

It was Gordie's seventeenth birthday and he and Chris had decided to spend the night camping out in an abandoned field, because neither of them wanted to be home to face their families. So, the boys went and bought a small cake from the local bakery, with the money they saved up, grabbed a tent and were on their way.

It started raining pretty soon after Chris pitched the tent, and the boys shivered, huddling together to keep warm as they fed themselves slices of the chocolate cake. It wasn't long before tears came to Gordie's eyes, thunderstorms always reminded him of Denny. The last night they spent together before Denny died, was during a thunderstorm. The brothers had been having a catch outside, when it started to rain, and even though their mother warned them they would get sick if they stayed outside any longer, they stayed out for another hour, just enjoying the rain and each others company. Gordie could never fall asleep during thunderstorms anymore, and had trouble holding back tears during each one as well, even though it had been five years since Denny's tragic death.

As the tears began to fall, cascading down Gordie's face, his heart began to speed up, echoing the pitter-patter of the rain crashing down against the tent. Chris looked over at the smaller boy and slung his arm across his shoulder, dragging him closer to his side, wrapping his arms around his best friend.

Gordie buried his face in Chris' shoulder and took in a shuddering breath, trying to stop the tears from falling, hating feeling so weak in front his best friend, the only true constant in his life, the only one who truly mattered.

* * *

It was a while later, when the rain finally began to calm, that Gordie unwrapped himself from Chris' embrace and swiped his arm across his eyes, drying them from the tears he had shed, only succeeding in making his eyes even redder, and puffier.

The boys really hadn't spoken in quite some time, the cake was gone and it was getting near nightfall. Chris had been weighing his options for a while, debating what could happen if he confessed to Gordie his feelings, and he finally decided he didn't really care, he just needed Gordie to know.

* * *

"I know this might not be something you want to hear, especially now, but I just wanted to let you know, that I love you. And not in the, "You're my best friend," way, either. In the "You mean everything to me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you," kind of way."

For a minute Gordie didn't move, didn't speak, he just stared. And then he pulled his fist back, and he punched Chris, right in the nose, before he stood up and rushed out of the tent and out into the dark of night, before the other boy even had a chance to blink.

* * *

From what Chris heard, Gordie never went home that night, and never showed up the morning after either. Nor did he show up the morning after that, or the one after that, or even a year later, and then two. His heart never stopped pining for the boy, as the days dragged on. He never let himself give up hope.

And one day, two and a half years after Gordie's seventeenth birthday, Chris was walking down an abandoned road, past a home that had burnt down ten years prior, that hadn't been fixed up and lived in since, but he saw a boy sitting on the front step, with his chin resting on his knees, a worn out look in his eyes. The two boys made eye contact, for just a second, before everything seemed to click into place inside of Chris' heart. Gordie broke the stare, after just a few moments, and he stood up, turning to walk inside of the house, and out of Chris' life once more.

Chris' voice cracked as he called out the smaller boy's name, and Gordie paused for a second, not bothering to turn around, "leave me alone, Chris, I hate you. You're a fag, and I-I, _hate_ you."

Chris felt a pang in his heart, and his eyes burned as he blinked back the tears threatening to fall as Gordie walked away, back into the torn up house. Chris turned and continued his trek down the road.

He had only been walking for a minute or two, before he heard the faint sound of a gunshot coming from the direction he had just left.


End file.
